Quote:Jack Bauer

As the only character to appear in every episode of the series, Jack Bauer has had a large number of memorable quotes.

Day 1
Quotes from Day 1.


 * Jack Bauer: I'm federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.


 * Jack Bauer: Officer, this guy is not waiting around for me...so you better shoot me or help me but decide now!


 * Nina Myers: You're lying.
 * Jack Bauer: Yes I am. But you're still going to have to trust me.


 * George Mason: You have no idea what you're getting yourself into.
 * Jack Bauer: Why don't you explain it to me? You've got five seconds.


 * Jack Bauer: I have killed two people since midnight, I haven't slept in over 24 hours. So maybe... maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are right now.


 * Vincent O'Brien: Chill, man. I don't know where she is.  You've got my word.
 * Jack Bauer: That's a real comfort, Vincent, knowing I've got your word.


 * Jack Bauer: You can look the other way once, and it's no big deal, except it makes it easier for you to compromise the next time, and pretty soon that's all your doing; compromising, because that's the way you think things are done. You know those guys I busted?  You think they were the bad guys?  Because they weren't, they weren't bad guys, they were just like you and me.  Except they compromised...once.


 * Jack Bauer: Son, part of getting a second chance is taking responsibility for what you did wrong in the first place.


 * Jack Bauer: You probably don't think I could force this towel down your throat, but trust me I can. All the way. Except that I'd hold onto this little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest the towel, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. Most people probably take about a week to die. It's very painful.


 * Jack Bauer: I was thinking we should try to remember what it was like when we were kids.
 * Teri Bauer: It's a different world now, Jack.
 * Jack Bauer: Yeah, I know.


 * Jack Bauer: Tony, I need detailed background on everyone on Senator Palmer's staff now.
 * Tony Almeida: Why?
 * Jack Bauer: Because I think this is about him and I want us to be prepared.
 * Tony Almeida: If it leaks out that we're screening Senator Palmer, people might think it's because he's black.
 * Jack Bauer: Well, it is because he's black. It makes him the most likely target.


 * Richard Walsh: How are you doing?
 * Jack Bauer: I can't complain.
 * Richard Walsh: Can't or won't?


 * Jack Bauer: George, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to call your boss so I can get clearance on the identification of the source.
 * George Mason: I thought we just agreed that it didn't matter.
 * Jack Bauer: Yeah, but I still have to call Walsh and tell him I did everything I could. I would like to cover my own ass.
 * George Mason: Jack, you're finally learning how to play the game.


 * Jack Bauer: Do you know how many people lost their lives today because you were doing your job?! Walsh?  Jamey?  Ellis?  How many others?
 * Nina Myers: How many people died because of you Jack?


 * Jack Bauer: (cradling Teri's dead body) I'm so sorry... so sorry...

Day 2
Quotes from Day 2.


 * Jack Bauer: That's the problem with people like you, George. You want results, but you never want to get your hands dirty.  I'd start rolling up your sleeves.


 * Jack Bauer: I'm gonna need a hacksaw.


 * Jack Bauer: He shouldn't have been playing with A-dults.


 * Nina Myers: He gonna put a bullet in my head before I can say "hello", then he's going to turn the gun on himself.
 * Jack Bauer: We'll make sure he doesn't turn the gun on himself.


 * Jack Bauer: The only way you're going to die is if I kill you. Your bomb's not going off.


 * Jack Bauer: (holding a gun to Nina Myers' head) You are going to tell me everything I want to know or I swear to God I will hurt you before I kill you, and no one will be able to stop me.


 * Jack Bauer: There are things in this world which are out of our control. Sometimes we like to blame ourselves for them so we can try to make sense out of them.


 * Jack Bauer: (Shoots his gun, gets quiet) Mrs. Palmer, I am not a politician, and I am not going to debate this with you. So answer my question: (louder) What do you know about the Cyprus recording!?


 * Jack Bauer: Give me a name!


 * Jack Bauer: The Sunday before you killed my wife... Teri and I went to the boardwalk in Venice just watching all the rollerbladers and musicians, laughing at the crazy people, spending time together. And Teri sees this snow-cone stand.  She giggles like a kid.  She takes off running, she wants to get in line, she wants one.  I remember I was watching her, I was just... I couldn't help myself.  When I look up at her she's talking to this old lady in line behind her and the two of them are laughing, and I'm thinking to myself, how the hell does she do that?  How does she strike up a conversation with an absolute stranger?  And they just start laughing.  Like they'd been friends forever.  That's a gift.  I remember thinking, God, I wish I could do that.  But I can't.  That was Teri.  My wife.  That's what you took from this world, Nina.  That's what you took from me, and my daughter.  I just wanted you to know that.

Day 3
Quotes from Day 3.


 * Jack Bauer: Shut up stupid, you just fired at a federal agent.


 * Chase Edmunds: Michelle said they're close to finding Kyle Singer!
 * Jack Bauer: How long will it take you to find Kyle Singer?! An hour?  A half-hour?  I have to get Salazar on that chopper right now or hundreds of thousands of innocent people will die.


 * Jack Bauer: A few years ago, my wife was killed because of my job. My daughter has never been the same since.  This last year... well, you know what I went through to bring you in.  What'd I get for it?  A pat on the back.  In the end, a demotion and a heroin habit.  I'm tired of putting my ass on the line for nothing.  I'm DONE putting my ass on the line for nothing.


 * Jack Bauer: Our systems are up and running.
 * Nina Myers: I don't believe you.
 * Jack Bauer: (smiling) I don't care what you believe.


 * Jack Bauer: You don't have any more useful information, do you, Nina?
 * Nina Myers: (weakly) I do
 * Jack Bauer: No, you don't. (shoots and kills Nina)


 * Ryan Chappelle: For God's sake Jack, there's something called Due Process - it's why we've got judges, juries, and laws--
 * Jack: Don't you dare tell me about the law. Nina Myers killed my wife, and they let her go.  And she would have killed my daughter if I hadn't gotten there when I did.


 * Jack Bauer: We can protect your family.
 * Michael Amador: How can you protect my family if you couldn't even protect your own?


 * Michael Amador: You betrayed me, Jack.
 * Jack: That's right, Amador, and you betrayed me too, I'm just better at it.


 * Diana White: I'm not going anywhere without a lawyer.
 * Jack Bauer: You're not under arrest. I'm taking you in to MI-6 where you'll be interrogated by an agent of a foreign government.  Your constitutional rights no longer apply.  Let's go.


 * Jack (Before shooting Ryan Chappelle): God forgive me.


 * Steven Saunders: Jack! You know how many vials I have, and you know what I'm capable of.
 * Jack Bauer: (Looking at Jane Saunders) You know what I'm capable of too.


 * Jack Bauer: (to Jane Saunders) You have no idea how far I'm willing to go to acquire your cooperation.


 * Jack Bauer: (to Stephen Saunders) When your daughter is infected, I'm going to make you watch her die.

Day 4
Quotes from Day 4.


 * Jack Bauer: I can find my own fucking job, Erin.


 * Jack Bauer: What is happening at eight o' clock?! I am not messing with you.  (flips table) You are going to tell me what is happening at eight o' clock!  (shoots Sherek's leg)  What is your primary objective?!  What is your primary objective?!
 * Sherek: Secretary of Defense!
 * Jack Bauer: Secretary Heller? Secretary Heller's the target!  Call Secret Service now!


 * Audrey Raines: Is it going to be hard?
 * Jack Bauer: What?
 * Audrey Raines: Going back to CTU. Seeing Driscoll again.
 * Jack Bauer: I don't blame her for her decision.
 * Audrey Raines: How can that be? She forced you out of CTU.
 * Jack Bauer: She didn't want an ex-junkie on her staff. That's not unreasonable.
 * Audrey Raines: You weren't a junkie. You were doing your job.
 * Jack Bauer: I was addicted to heroin. It didn't matter why.


 * Jack Bauer: (after breaking all of Joe Prado's fingers) This will help you with the pain. (knocks Prado out)


 * Bill Buchanan: Jack, the President clearly said CTU couldn't touch Prado.
 * Jack Bauer: I'm not CTU.


 * Doctor: I already have a patient!
 * Jack Bauer: You've got a new one.


 * Jack Bauer: Mr. President, it's been an honor. (last line of Day 4)

Day 5
Quotes from Day 5.


 * Jack Bauer: What do you want with me?
 * James Nathanson: Protection. The terrorists you're after are trying to kill me.
 * Jack Bauer: What makes you think I won't kill you myself?
 * James Nathanson: Because you want to stop the sentox gas from being released on American soil, and so do I.


 * Jack Bauer: Let's get something straight, kid.  The only reason you're still conscious is because I don't want to carry you.  Now get in the van.


 * Jack Bauer: (to Palmer's assassin, before killing him) I'll see you in hell. (Early Season 5 trailer, removed from actual show)


 * Jack Bauer: My name's not Frank. It's Jack Bauer.


 * Jack Bauer: You're gonna tell me what I want to know, it's just a question of how much you want it to hurt.


 * 'Jack Bauer: Understand, Bill, I don't work for you. Now if you want my intel, we are going to do this my way.


 * Jack Bauer: (to President Logan) He's lying to you, sir!


 * Jack Bauer: I’m done talking with you, you understand me? You’ve read my file.  The first thing I’m going to do is take out your right eye, and then I’m gonna move over and take out your left, and then I’m going to cut you.  I’m gonna keep cutting you until you give me the information that I need.  Do you understand me? So for the last time, where is the nerve gas!?


 * Jack Bauer: Christopher, CTU found one of the canisters on Tyler Memorial Hospital, it's armed, people are gonna start dying!


 * Jack Bauer: By the time I finish with you, you're gonna wish you felt this good again.


 * Jack Bauer: Trust me, you do not wanna go down this path with me.


 * Jack Bauer: That's not a threat, that's a fact.

(Jack pulls the flap controllers)
 * Jack Bauer: Please put our air back or we will pass out!
 * 520 Pilot: I'm afraid I can't do that.
 * Jack Bauer: All right you son of a bitch.
 * Jack Bauer: If you don't open that door and restore our air, you will be held responsible for every casualty on this plane!


 * Audrey Raines: Are you all right?
 * Jack Bauer: No.


 * Jack Bauer: He used you to get into my head, and it worked. Now I'm... upset.


 * Jack Bauer: With all due respect, Mr. Secretary, I asked you for your help and you betrayed me.


 * Jack Bauer: (to Christopher Henderson) Anything less then Bierko's head on a plate and the deal is off.


 * Jack Bauer: What's your status?
 * Petty Officer Rooney: My status is... he's dead.

(Two shots ring out as Christopher Henderson falls dead.)
 * Christopher Henderson: Hold it, Jack! Now lower your arms, real slow, and turn around! You weren't ever really gonna let me go, were you?
 * Jack Bauer: No.
 * Christopher Henderson: (after finding out his gun had no ammunition) Good for you, Jack
 * Jack Bauer: You were responsible for the deaths of David Palmer, Tony Almeida, and Michelle Dessler. They were friends of mine.
 * Christopher Henderson: That's the way it works.


 * Jack Bauer: (to Audrey) We're taking down the president of The United States.


 * Jack Bauer: (to President Logan) Mr. Logan, I'm not going to torture you. But you're going to tell me what I want to know. Or so help me God... I will kill you. A year and a half ago I was warned my life was in danger by someone within the government. And I was told the only way I could stay alive was to create the illusion that I was dead. I was forced to deceive people that I loved. My only daughter will never forgive me. As I see the depth of your corruption unfold I have no doubt that you are that source of danger. David Palmer was a great man, and he was a great president. But he was also my friend. He tried to warn me about you, and now he is dead. Other people tried to help me, and they are dead too. So Mr. Logan I hope you understand... I have absolutely nothing to lose. You are going to be held accountable for your part of everything that happened today. You are not going to be able to hide behind the presidency. Right here, right now, you are going to face justice! And make no mistake about this - this is personal. And if you think for a second that I am scared to put a bullet in your brain... you don't know me.  I am going to ask you one last time. Who are your co-conspirators? You have until the count of three, or I will kill you.


 * Jack Bauer: What are the names of your co-conspirators?
 *  Charles Logan: There are no co-conspirators, because there is no conspir...
 * Jack Bauer: Walt Cummings! Christopher Henderson!  James Nathanson! have all admitted to being part of this conspiracy, now they are dead!  Right before Christopher Henderson died, he acknowledged that there were others, what are their names?
 * Charles Logan: A man will say anything under torture, this won't mean a thing--
 * Jack Bauer: Mr. Logan, I'm not here to torture you, but you are gonna tell what I want to know, or so help me God, I will kill you.


 * Cheng Zhi:You surely must be aware, Mr. Bauer, that China has a long memory. Only eighteen months ago, you invaded our territory and killed our consul.  Did you really think that we would forget?
 * Jack Bauer: I know how this works... I need to make one phone call... Please... just one phone call. (Silence) Kill me... just kill me.
 * Cheng Zhi: Kill you? You're far too valuable to kill, Mr. Bauer.

Day 6
Quotes from Day 6.


 * Jack Bauer: Audrey?
 * Bill Buchanan: Audrey doesn't know you're back.
 * Jack Bauer: My daughter?
 * Bill Buchanan: Kim doesn't know either.
 * Jack Bauer: You keep it that way.


 * Jack Bauer: (to Bill Buchanan) Do you understand the difference between dying for something and dying for nothing? The only reason I fought so hard to stay alive in China was because I didn't want to die for nothing...today I can die for something...my way, my choice.


 * Jack Bauer: Drop the coffee.


 * Jack Bauer: (After purposely crashing into a man's car) Are you telling me I don't know how to drive?!


 * Graem Bauer: You're hurting me now.
 * Jack Bauer: Trust me, I'm not.


 * Graem Bauer: I don't know, I swear on my famliy's life.
 * Jack Bauer: Not good enough.


 * Jack Bauer: We are not the same! (Then pushes Graem and chair to the floor)


 * Jack Bauer: You will experience a pain I can't even describe.


 * Jack Bauer: The machine knows you're lying! I know you're lying! Tell me the truth!


 * Jack Bauer: Do you want me to kill you?!


 * Jack Bauer: Do you know how do use one of these?
 * Marilyn Bauer: No.
 * Jack Bauer: Point to head, shoot.


 * Jack Bauer: Your brother was responsible for dozens of deaths. You're now responsible for thousands. Trust me, I haven't even begun to enjoy myself.


 * Jack Bauer: Say hello to your brother.


 * Jack Bauer: Mr. President, you owe me.


 * Jack Bauer: Earlier today I shot my own partner, a friend of mine, because he tried to stop me from doing what I have to do. Don't think for a second that I won't do that to you.


 * Jack Bauer: Mr. President, you owe me.


 * Jack Bauer: Earlier today I shot my own partner, a friend of mine, because he tried to stop me from doing what I have to do. Don't think for a second that I won't do that to you.

Frequent Quotes
The following quotes are those spoken by Jack on a regular basis.


 * Jack Bauer: I'm a federal agent, working with CTU Los Angeles


 * Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer and I'm with CTU.


 * Jack Bauer: We are running out of time! or We dont have time for this!


 * Jack Bauer: This is Bauer. [The relevent antagonist] is in custody.


 * Jack Bauer: You're going to have to trust me. or You gonna have to trust me on this one!


 * Jack Bauer: Put your hands where I can see them!


 * Jack Bauer: What are you talking about?


 * Jack Bauer: Son of a bitch!


 * Jack Bauer: Dammit!


 * Jack Bauer: I give you my word. or You have my word.


 * Jack Bauer: Just do this for me!


 * Jack Bauer: Send it to my PDA.


 * Jack Bauer: Right now, terrorists are trying to.... [Insert relevant threat]


 * Jack Bauer: Holster your weapon!


 * Jack Bauer: Put down your weapon! or Drop the gun!


 * Jack Bauer: ''You will tell me what I need to know or I'll... [insert random threat]


 * Jack Bauer: GET DOWN!


 * Jack Bauer: WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?


 * Jack Bauer: Do you understand me??!


 * Jack Bauer: This is Bauer.


 * Jack Bauer: ''Oh, my God..."


 * Jack Bauer: Bill, it's Jack...


 * Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need you to... or Chloe, I'm going to need you to...