This is a list of memorable quotes from Ira Gaines.
- Ira Gaines: Say something.
- Jack Bauer: If you hurt my daughter I will kill you.
- Ira Gaines: Good. That's a nice, clear signal.
- Jack Bauer: If Alan York is dead, who is the man with my wife?
- Ira Gaines: He's not an accountant from the valley, that's for sure.
- Ira Gaines: See what happens when you lie? Now bury your friend.
- Rick: Where?
- Ira Gaines: In the ground.
- Ira Gaines: Leave the shovel, unless you plan to use it on me.
- Ira Gaines: Nina Myers is dead. Make up a story for why she's not there.
- Ira Gaines: Shred the note now or your daughter dies!
- Ira Gaines: Be good and you'll be back at the mall in a day or two. Be bad, you won't.
- Dan Mounts: We'd like our money now. If that's like, you know, okay.
- Ira Gaines: Well, just so we're like, you know, clear, what happened to the other girl?
- Dan Mounts: Janet? Like I told you, we had to kill her.
- Ira Gaines: 'Cause my people tell me that someone that fits her description was taken to a hospital near to where you were. How do you explain that?
- Dan Mounts: Well, the thing is that...maybe she wasn't quite dead.
- Ira Gaines: Well, I'll tell ya, Dan. You're either dead or you're not dead. There's no such thing as "sorta dead". Here, let me show you. (pulls out gun and shoots Dan)
- Rick Allen: NO!
- Ira Gaines: (to a very shocked Rick) You've just been promoted. Congratulations.
- Jack Bauer: What?! (confused that Gaines can see inside CTU via security cameras)
- Ira Gaines: That's right, Jack! I'm watching you!
- Rick Allen: You can pay me...whenever.
- Ira Gaines: Oh, that's very kind of you, Rick.
- Kevin Carroll: (upon seeing Neill's dead body) There's no radio.
- Ira Gaines: Bauer's been listening. TO EVERY DAMN WORD.
- Ira Gaines: (last words) Good luck.